(OO) So you didn’t get to be Margaret Atwood this time around. Neither did anybody else
Margaret Atwood is Margaret Atwood. Perhaps she saved time by not humping her duvet,
but she still had to experience strenuous shits and sinus colds and mediocre sex.
Plus she’ll probably die before you will. If not then you get to beat her at turning to worm shit.
(PP) Feel free to have motifs and repeat them. I am forever going on about Margaret Atwood and
humping duvets and 1008 details involving my pelvis. I keep telling myself that everyone is tired of hearing about my pelvis when in truth, hardly anyone has heard anything about it. If I don’t know you, which will be the case for about 999 9000 of my dear readers, this is probably your first time reading about it. And so I’m allowed to go on and on. You are too. Whether your motif is your pelvis or your heart chakra or your favourite Nanaimo Bar recipe. Own it and go on and on.
(QQ) You’re also allowed to contradict yourself and cancel your motif and start all the way over.
Fuck the pizza God.
(RR) Take Breaks. Maybe you’ve been working on something for years and it seems so important that
whenever you work on it or even think about it, you scrunch up your face and clench your jaw until you get mouth herpes and the thought of not finishing this thing makes you feel like you might die. Nothing is that important. Put the thing away for a month. If a month is too long, try a week.
Come back to whatever it is when you can think about it and still breathe.
(SS) Or quit. Maybe there’s something else that you’ve been trying to do for a really long time and it’s not working and you hate it but you think it’s what’s stopping you from being a happy fulfilled person and releasing the magical snake from your pelvis. Whatever it is: a business, your job, a relationship, a yoga posture, or a really heinous self-help book, you don’t have to see it through.
Be in charge of life’s expiration dates.
(TT) Spend a day without talking. You could do this once a week. I heard of a lady who never spoke on Mondays. One Monday, she was staying at a youth hostel and some dude hung himself. She was the
first one to find him, but she couldn’t tell anyone because it was a Monday. So she found a man who
was eating a doughnut and silently took him by the hand and led him to the man who commited suicide.
(UU) Observe your speech on the days you are not observing silence. Notice the words you repeat relatively compulsively. Then quit saying them. If you don’t know what to say instead of your filler word, just be quiet. We know that silence doesn’t cause death… For me the filler word is Yah. So yah. But yah. No more yah’s for me. I have to say yes now. Or else nothing.
(VV) Spend a day without the internet. You could do this once a week.
(WW) Combine no talking and no internet for a whole day. Perhaps only once a month.
(XX) Accept that your vocabulary will probably never reach its capacity. Look up words you don’t
understand in the dictionary. That’s what scientologists do.
Some scientologists write these words down on their refrigerators and use them for their next
biodegradable poems. Others don’t.
(YY) Don’t feel like you have to pretend to understand everything people are talking about.
Ask questions when you’re confused. Hedge funds, Steve Jobs, Syphilis: it isn’t a given that you
know about any of these things. Maybe you don’t know what CEO stands for. Ask.
Unless you don’t care. But don’t pretend.
(ZZ) Cover up or turn around your mirrors for an entire week. Start with a week and then increase.
(AAA) After the no mirrors week, devote 30 seconds per day to staring at yourself naked in the mirror. Tell your reflection: “Yes! This is what we’ve got. I’m okay with this. Okay! Good!”
You can read more of Erica J. Schmidts work because Erica J. Schmidt has a blog at exuberantbodhisattva.blogspot.com.
Also, once she co-wrote an epistolary novel with with Simon Girard, her ex-boyfriend and guru who she met on a biodegradable yoga mat. You can read it at http://thelittlesavageandthehermit.blogspot.ca/
Erica is looking forward to receiving your Heartfelt Emails and biodegradable poems. Please send them to her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
You can buy I Let go by Erica J Schmidt at Amazon.com